The Osborn Pulse

Well we have officially been home a full week from our week-long vacation to Palm Springs with the Osborn clan and I have only one bag (out of about eight) left to unpack. Unfortunately it was one that was left way too long... the culprit; one wet swimsuit that I forgot had been 'thrown' in (a 'Bryan' packed bag), and the smell of mildew was enough for me to throw it directly in the garbage. Yes, the meaning of the word vacation completely changes when you decide to take kids... in fact it shouldn't even be called a vacation, it needs its own name. Maybe something like, "departure from home for extended period of time to a different, more scenic place, to do the same things like wipe bums and care for screaming babies, as you would do at home, only with a much happier disposition." A little lengthy, but much more appropriate.

So yes, I am now ready for a real vacation. You know, the kind where you actually get to sit and read at least three chapters in a row from the book you brought, the kind where you go out to nice dinners with your hubby with whom you fall in love with all over again and you remind him as well of the 'funny, laid back, cool girl' he married and not the over-stressed, naggy, scrunchy-wearing (Ok that's a little overboard) **tch he comes home to now. I will say one thing... when I get this 'vacation' I promise to relish every moment of it as if it were the last!!

Now just because this wasn't the most relaaaxing trip, we did have a wonderful time and couldn't have been with a better group of peeps. I happen to be incredibly lucky to have the coolest in-laws around. My two sister-in-laws are some of my best friends and my adorable nieces and nephews are Camryn's 'very best friends' as she calls them. The weather was unbeatable, the pool time watching Camryn was unforgettable, and the day at Disneyland (minus the Sleeping Beauty Castle experience that scared the pee, literally, out of our already highly anxious three-year -old) was fabulous!!

Today marks the four year anniversary that we lost an incredible person in our lives. Bryan's best friend Cameron Court died suddenly in a snowbiling trip on their annual guys trip to Jackson Hole, WY

Here is a journal entry written by my sweet husband in the days following the accident. Cam was an incredibly special person in many people's lives... so much in ours that we named our first little girl after him.

This time of year is always very difficult when I think back to the tragic loss of my best friend. I have decided to share a journal entry that I made shortly after the accident. I miss my friend every day and am so blessed to have such a great family and group of friends to lean on during this difficult time.This is merely a recap of events on the tragic day of Feb 4th 2005, a day many of us will never forget. Feb 1st, 2005This was the last time that I saw Cam alive. Cam came over to my house in Draper, Utah in the evening to see my new puppy Max. Cam also brought over his dog Alta. Janalyn was not home and Cam came alone. Its funny how those couple hours at the time seemed so irrelevant, and now they also bring me so much peace. We laughed and talked about different things in our lives, Cam was very proud to show me how he taught Alta to dance with him by jumping up on Cam’s back and wrapping his paws around Cam’s waist and doing the Cha-Cha! Truthfully I don’t remember what we talked about that evening other than logistical plans on going to Jackson Hole, WY. However, I do remember giving him a hard time about not coming with us on Thursday the 3rd to do some skiing before our annual friends snowmobile trip. He told me that he had too much school and work which did not sound like Cam, but apparently he was taking it much more serious than I knew. Feb 3rd, 2005Jon Baclayon, Shawn Cheney and I left early on Thurs the 3rd of February to do some skiing in Teton Village, WY before the snowmobile trip. Once we got to Jackson we realized that the snow was not as good as it was in Utah so we decided not to waste the money, and didn’t end up skiing at all. Instead we went into the city of Jackson Hole and had some lunch waiting for the others to arrive and pick up the rental snowmobiles in town. Brandon Fairbanks, Brandon Woolston, Jim Horton and Rich Tripp all showed up around 6pm and we met them at the same place where we had rented the snowmobiles in the past. After we got all of our snowmobiles and finished our last bit of food shopping in town, we headed 30 miles away to the Hoback Ranches. For years now we have been going to Brandon Fairbanks cabin, snowmobiling, hunting or some of the best fly-fishing in the Western U.S. Once we arrived at the cabin and got everything unloaded, we all sat around, ate food and played poker ‘til the late hours of the night. We called Cam late that night and he assured us that he would be leaving Salt Lake early on Friday Feb the 4th in order to get here in time to do a full day of snowmobiling, his intentions were to meet us at the cabin around 9 – 10am. We all knew that Cam would be late because Cam went by his own watch. Feb 4th, 2005We woke up around 9 am to one of the most beautiful mornings that I can remember. There was not a cloud in the sky, and a blanket of fresh white powder. Jon Baclayon woke up a little earlier than everyone else to make his famous spam and eggs breakfast. While we were eating around 10am the phone rang. I picked it up knowing it was Cam. Very typical of Cam, without even saying hello, he went into about a minute and a half of singing. Cam knew that I loved his music, but also knew that I lack patience; therefore he would always begin a phone conversation with a song just to bug me. I even remember holding the phone cord and letting the receiver dangle for about a minute until he was finished. Finally when he was done singing we both had a good laugh. He told me that he was in Coalville, UT; which meant that he was still about three hours away. He laughed and told me that he had a panicked message from Rich pleading with him to go to Rich’s brothers house to bring an XBOX video game up to the cabin. Cam apparently did not get this message until he was well past Park City. When he did get the message, he turned around and went back to Salt Lake to get the game, therefore causing his tardiness. The ironic thing is that Cam didn’t even like video games, but he did not want to disappoint. Cam then assured me that he was coming straight to the cabin and told us to meet him there at lunch and instructed us to leave him a snowmobile and helmet in the parking lot at the bottom of the canyon. This was the last time any of us spoke to Cam. After finishing up our breakfast, we all got bundled up in our snowmobiling gear and left for a morning ride. We rode down to the highway and set a snowmobile and helmet next to my car for Cam. We set out on a beautiful three-hour ride across the highway where we normally ride. Around 1:30 to 2:00pm we decided to start heading back to the cabin to meet Cam for lunch. Brandon Woolston and I went to my car on the highway to get the food for lunch and I noticed that Cam’s car was next to mine, and his snowmobile was gone. I remember being excited that Cam had arrived and figured that he was waiting for us at the cabin. We then drove the three-mile ride through the snow to the cabin. I noticed that when we arrived, Cam’s snowmobile was not there. I really didn’t think anything about it at the time, knowing Cam, he was off on a ride looking at the beautiful surroundings; it was a perfect blue-sky day. We all eventually ended up at the cabin for lunch, while choking down our partially frozen “lunchables,” everyone remarked that Cam was not at the cabin but we knew that he was here because we saw his car. We waited about ten to fifteen minutes figuring that he was out looking at some deer or on a leisure-ride and he would be pulling up any minute. The thought then crossed our mind that Cam could be stuck in the snow somewhere between here and the car. This would not be an uncommon event, seeing that the majority of us, Cam included were average riders at best. In fact, we generally spend at least half of the time digging someone out of a large powder hole to get going again.Shawn Cheney decided that he would ride back down to the car to see if he could find Cam and help him out if needed. Nobody was even worried at this time because this was a very common event. Shawn brought a two-way radio with him so he could tell us if he needed more help digging out his snowmobile. I personally didn’t even think he was stuck in the snow, I was sure that he was out taking in natures beauty because that was what Cam would do.Around 2:15pm Shawn radioed in and told us that Cam may have been involved in an accident but was not sure. We were all immediately concerned and were praying that this was not the case. The messages from Shawn continued to worsen as he radioed from the highway. Shawn was down next to the car and an ambulance or two pulled up as well as a couple of police cars. Shawn started getting reports that a man in his mid twenties on a black Polaris snowmobile was the victim of this accident. We still had no idea what had really happened. The rest of us frantically got re-dressed in our snowmobile gear and hurried down to the highway. I remember riding extremely fast down to the highway to see what had happened. I thought that at the very worst, Cam had broken a leg or clavicle. I remember feeling very bad for Cam thinking that he had wrecked Brandon Fairbanks snowmobile and would not be able to afford the repairs. I was already planning the trip in my head with Cam to the hospital in Jackson Hole for some broken bones. Not once did the thought ever cross my mind that the situation was grave.I was the first one down the canyon, and I remember making the last turn around the hill and seeing the highway littered with police cars and a couple of ambulances. My heart immediately dropped in my stomach. As I approached all of the vehicles I had a terrible feeling come over me. I jumped off of my snowmobile and threw off my helmet only to see Shawn with his hands in his face sobbing. I’ve known Shawn my whole life and I know that no amount of broken bones in Cam’s body would make Shawn cry. I’ll never forget looking at Shawn’s face with red eyes and snot running out of his nose as he muttered the most painful words I have ever heard; “Cam’s dead!” I immediately looked to my left and saw a body with a blanket over it lying on a sled. I have never been so scared in my entire life, praying that this was not really happening. I knelt down and peeled back the blanket only to see my best friend lying lifeless on a sled in Wyoming. His body was still warm and he was the same Cam with a scruffy beard and long ragged hair, only he was not breathing. The next twenty minutes or so were somewhat of a blur. I remember hearing a lot of crying and sobbing coming from the rest of the group as they pulled up to the same horrible site. There were now a lot more cop cars and by-standers wondering what in the world had happened. After filling out police reports and answering as many questions as we could answer I walked back to Cam’s body by myself, wondering what we were going to do. At that time I had a very strong spiritual experience and comfort come over me, I knew that Cam’s spirit was still lingering with us at that time. It’s very hard to explain, but it almost felt peaceful. I even felt guilty at the time for not being more hysterical. I remember hearing over and over in my head: “Please try and be strong for now, your time to mourn will be later”. I didn’t know why I kept hearing this until I had a very ugly thought enter my head; his family, friends and girlfriend Andrea had no idea what had happened! This was a very painful thought because I knew how much pain this news was going to cause. At that same time a female police officer approached me with her cell phone and told me that it would be a good idea to tell his parents. She informed me that the local police in Salt Lake would be getting the wire soon and would be delivering this horrible news to his family in person fairly soon. We all felt that it would be a good decision for me to call his family and to hear it from us rather than a police officer that might not have the proper information at the time. I really struggled with this phone call, I even dialed the number a couple of times, heard Cam’s mom Diane answer, then hung-up without saying a word. Eventually I gave the phone back to the officer and decided that I needed a little more time before making the call, I simply could not do it at this particular time. The coroner then showed up and explained to me that he was going to take Cam’s body to Pinedale, WY and then bring it to Salt Lake in a couple of days. I remember trying to explain to the coroner and police officers that we didn’t need a coroner and we would take Cam’s body back to Salt Lake to a local mortuary. I obviously wasn’t thinking straight and eventually had an officer pull me aside and explain to me that this was obviously not a legal option. To me, he was still “Cam”, in my mind nothing really had changed except that he was not breathing. I wanted to take care of him, keep him with us and bring him back to his family where he belonged. We eventually lifted Cam’s lifeless body into the vehicle and watched as one of our best friends was driven away to a small town in Wyoming. This was the most gut-wrenching, terrible feeling that I have felt in my entire life. I then got back on my snowmobile and drove the longest 3 miles back to the cabin that I can ever remember. Once at the cabin, nobody said a word. Rich, Shawn, Brandon Woolston and I quickly packed our things and loaded them onto our snowmobiles, we were going home. Rich and I went in my car and were followed by Brandon and Shawn who had agreed to drive Cam’s car back to Salt Lake. The only smile that I can remember on that day came when Shawn turned Cam’s car on and Michael Jackson was blaring in the CD player in the car. I can picture Cam very vividly, driving through the country singing to Michael Jackson at the top of his lungs! We then filed into the two vehicles and started the long trek back to Salt Lake. I knew that I had to call his family now and deliver the tragic news that would forever change their lives. I pressed the “Onstar” button in my Chevy Trailblazer because I lacked cell phone coverage. The operator then connected me to 801-942-2629. This is the same number that I have dialed for the past 20 years to see if my buddy Cam could play, now I’m having to tell the people who love Cam the most that he will not be coming back home. When I was finally connected and Diane answered, once again I hung-up, lacking the courage to deliver the news. Rich then made me pull the car over, gather myself, and my thoughts to make the call again. Diane answered again with a very happy “Hello”, just the sound of her voice made it very difficult to even breath, I had no idea what to say, or how to put this into words. Finally I said, “Diane, this is Ozzy, I’m sorry but there has been an accident and Cam is dead”. Now being removed from the situation I can think of many different ways to break this news that may be more tactful, but at the time, I was just doing whatever I could to force these words out of my mouth. Diane was obviously hysterical and kept repeating “Ozzy, please tell me it isn’t true”, she then ended the very brief conversation by saying that she had to call his father Cam Sr. right now. The next 300 or so miles were very painful; I remember having very mixed emotions. On one hand, I wanted to be with his family to help them in any way that I could, on the other hand, I was afraid of seeing this incredibly happy family in the utter depths of despair. This was the longest drive that I can ever remember. We eventually arrived at the Court home to a multitude of people who all love Cam very much, trying to make sense of few tidbits of information that they had received to this point. I then explained every detail that I could remember, that may help in some way to make sense of what happened earlier in the day. After spending a few more hours at the Court home, I drove back to my house to be with my wife. I remember feeling incredibly grateful for Janalyn and her love. I was exhausted and fell right to sleep around 2:00 AM, the next feeling I had was the absolute worst feeling that I have ever had. I woke up around 7:00 A.M. and the strength from Cam that I had felt the day before had completely left. The reality of the situation had finally hit me, Cam really died!I was hysterical for the next few weeks my brother Carter, my father Dwight and by brother-in-law Eric Smith all came over the morning of the 5th to give me a blessing. I knew at this moment that everything that happened the day before was real, and that these events would forever change my life. Even now, three months removed from Feb 4th, the pain is still there and I imagine it always will be there. I am definitely starting to laugh a lot more when I think of Cam, and the thought that gives me the most peace is that I know that I will see him again someday! Cam, the best way that I can express my feelings to you is simply that I miss you. My wife and I found out on the night of Cam's funeral that she was pregnant, on Oct 7th 2005 we had a little girl and appropriately named her "Camryn". Via con Dios!!!Bryan “Ozzy” Osborn

Friday, July 31, 2009

JULY!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

two minutes of Spring...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Do-do-do-do....Dora?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

NEEDED: Vacation from the Vacation

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Cameron Court Jr.

Monday, February 2, 2009

DESPERATION!!

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