So for those out there who know me well, you are aware of my fear of.... well pretty much everything, but especially being home alone at night when Bryan is out of town. For awhile there he wasn't traveling much, but now that he is dividing his time between here and Salt lake, the nights of terror have begun. For some reason after 9:00 p.m. I turn into a freak and every horror movie or scary 'Lifetime' movie that I have ever seen is stuck in my brain!
In order to survive the night from all those predators that I just know are waiting outside to come in and do, well you know, all that stuff that happened in "The Ring" to me... I have a routine. First, my friend Kali who lives across the street comes over and we go through every room in the house. Second, I put Camryn in my bed to sleep and then I stay awake as late as I possible can in the living room (just to let them all know that I am still awake and ready for them) and watch all sorts of trashy t.v. shows that I am too ashamed to admit. Then, for the grand finale, I turn on every light in the house (sorry Bry), and go into my room and begin to build my BARRICADE. At first it was just the vacuum against the door but now it has become much more advanced. I moved our very large love seat from our living room into our bedroom and it usually takes a good ten minutes just to move it about 5 feet to the door and it doesn't end there. Then I get all four of our laundry baskets and pile them on top... I know, pretty brilliant huh?
Okay... so I know I am crazy. I really do. So to stop this madness I have been begging Bry for one simple weapon. A weapon that would restore all peace to my life. I want a TASER.
I have been doing my research and I even found one that comes in pink! It wouldn't kill anyone, but I can use it from up to 15 feet away and I wouldn't have to hit them in any particular spot...I can aim and hit them anywhere on their body! Bryan, needless to say is not keen on the idea, mainly because he thinks I will use it on him accidentally. Our five year anniversary is in two days and I am petitioning for a Taser...no jewelry, no Nordstrom gift card ( did I really say that?) just a Taser!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
'Stop the Madness'
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4 comments:
Awesome to think what the Boogie man is doing to your child at 3am as you are safely tucked away in your barricade.
This comment is for Bryan: PLEASE STOP THE MADNESS AND GET HER A DANG TASER! It won't kill you if she did accidently use it on you! It will just leave you paralyzed for a bit and it might be a rush! And for Jan, you can come sleep at our little house! Just pump up an air mattress and throw the girls on that and you can sleep in Kenna's bed!!! Its comfy and safe. Brent even has a BB gun!
Oh Janalyn you crack me up. Hey my bro "Srgt Lemmon" is on graves right now, do you want him to do patrols by your house? I'll direct him to your blog, but be forwarned, they might try a good prank or two on you first!
As for the Taser, I asked for one too a while back. I read somewhere that they actually do Taser parties in Arizona. Rex is on call so much and even in MD when he was deployed it didn't bother me b/c the FBI was next door. Here in Dallas though, I'm not as crazy as you but I do get a bit freaked out... I am totally for the Taser!!! would you like for me to sign your petition???
I'm totally with you...let's get pink Tasers!!
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